got cramp...stuck at home again..haha

wy

Am starting to fall in love with tanya's voice. interestingly, an english educated singer in the mandopop circle. love her lyrics quite alot. very poetic, very true and very life.
走过的路
作词--蔡健雅作曲--蔡健雅
曾拥有过的这一切都可能在一瞬间全都消失
曾最让我感动的事都可能经过时间而被遗忘 也许我过得不够认真
曾经我相信只有他是我在这世界上最爱的人
但相信不代表永恒人总会有喜新厌旧的时刻
也许我不懂想要的爱也许因为不懂 才一再的受伤害
直到现在走过的路
有些心酸辛苦但至少有些小幸福
爱过恨过走过的路
很多感触或许在一个人散步时心中还会回顾
只希望自己能走出片天空勇敢的走到未来

Realised that I only like things I can relate to, is this the face of human beings or is it my pain selfishness? I, like tanya, seems to be in similar predicaments. I love chinese, really do, yet am stuck to a life of english education. Moreover, recently being in contact with yuyin from the past, and PRC students in school. I realised how much of my language slipped out of my system. An entire part of me, once seen as extremely important, left me. Perphaps again that is just as life is/was/were. completely out of control.

Been starting to read blogs again. And finally glad now that when i click the "bloggie" link on my igoogle home page, I see new updates on the blog. I used to always wonder if i was the only one visiting the blog regularly for updates. So wy's reply to me was uplifting.
someone told me before that to be thinking of someone and to have the someone think of you back at the same time is almost impossible. There's actually some statistics done on it, but I glad I managed to hold on to the 0.000something %. Sad as it may seem, the blog we started back then is now the only link between the 5 of us.
This link brought by some sad news today. wy's struggles in her life, are things I can understand quite throughly. I must say there are similarities between us. We are afterall, one who yearn deeply, but show little on the surface. Yearnings may represent dreams, but dreams may be all but hopeful remains of what could have been.
Rambling in riddles again. I could go all philosphical, but ultimately I know that I hope for both of us the best. And for her to be happy. and me too.

Those were the days, days of sarcasm< in the nice sense, days when the future seems bright and merry. the blog was started 2 years back, then I would have never guessed the way my life is now mapped out. mapped out completely out of my map. Future holds much unknowns. And I'm always wondering what would be if I didn't choose this path. will i be happier. ask yourself that too dear? though it might seem to carry little purpose.
j->blogged on myspace pg... jiayou wy!

好久没在这写日记了。。。。
过去两年来一直都在忙碌中度过，似乎已经忘了给自己时间对自己的所作所为反省反省。最多也不过是一些表面上的反省。。。我发却我变了很多。。 以前常常做事都很认真，觉得每件事一定要做得最好。。因此我总会非常非常努力地去盼到。但现在的我，连努力是什么种滋味都已忘记了。。我光会为了不必要的面子问题或成就问题不停地往前冲。。但是到了最后我什么都做不好。。 真的什么也做不好。。。感觉运气特别差。。这两年来除了交了一帮不是很熟的朋友外， 心智并没有成熟到。。 翻读过去自己写的作文时， 还会感叹以前的自己怎么会那么快消失得无影无踪。。。过去的思想观念到哪里去了？？ 现在的我变得越来越庸俗。。是个完完整整没什么用的人。。 真令我自己难过。。连那种在爬起来的力气都没有了。。过去的我，无论学什么乐器， 似乎都有一种很神奇的力量让我很快就上手。。现在我什么都学不好。。。两年前初到学校的古筝团还以为可以继续‘展示’我的琴艺。。(haha, coz i regarded it as my only 'displayable' ability..)可是从那时候开始，我就‘沦落’到筝三。。是个很大的打击也是个很令我愤怒的事情。。。嗨，怎么说呢。。。就好像小鸟被剥夺了在天空飞翔的机会。。直到现在，我的琴艺都退步了。。 因为根本不用进步吗。。。我都想把古筝丢掉了。。。姑且不论古筝的事， 我的钢琴也在这两年内被忽略了。现在正在补救， 可是偏偏得不到老师的谅解。。平平批评我。。就好像我真的一无是处似的。。嗨，令到我非常烦恼。。

所以说， 我书读不成，琴s练不好， ‘脑’也没精到。。lol。正如jeanie has said...我连怎么讽刺人都不会了。。真悲哀。。这两年真是把我搞垮了neh...

不知道为什么我还要回去那个学校参与演出。。不过这也好， 让我再一次体会恩段一绝其实是好的。。我不要在回去了。。。以后我的生活不会再被那个地方搅乱， 我要从新找回以前的自己。。。。。。


part two....
jeanie....how's life?? noe u r buzy... but the rest...i have no idea...sigh.. am beginning to feel the gap btw us...sort of miss the times in schl...wld rather be 'feng ci-ing' u right now...haha. anyway, im sure gonna find you on the day of release of results...hee. i seriously dread meeting my schl-mates...dun really noe why...juz dun feel like being with them..(ahem, do i sound abit like a loner??)haha...

sigh, feeling like a loser right now...have accomplished nth at all...no pleasant feelings for my results though i managed nt to screw up in any of the papers...juz din feel like i will do well...esp in such a lousy schl...no no, perhaps i shld juz say that the schl n me doesn't match each other, it is a jinx-ed place for me..lol.

anw, i hope all of us can do v well in the A's and stay happy.=D
wy

;P<- who did that.. so glad to see someone blogging though...
cancelled friendster acc oneday, thought it was too crowded....
cancelled facebook, thought it was too complicated...

started myspace.... a page for random rambles:
http://www.myspace.com/raining_random_rambles
how's life going by, my frens?
recently have been slacking quite a bit... thinking quite alot. ..
miss you all more than quite alot.
will we lose contact eventually? getting alarmingly worried!
I love you all! I do...

ps: sylvie dear, gotta give you that present;)