23 july 06

I can't believe how lucky I was until yesterday. Actually, I always say all those cliched crappy stuff in my weekly gp article reviews...after cutting out some reports on the bombings and terrorism and disasters and bla bla bla. But it was until yesterday that I truly really sincerely felt how lucky all of us actually are.

Like the very least, we don't live in broken shattered homes. We don't grow up being the victims of family abuse. We don't have a whole pack of indifferent siblings from all the different marriages of your parents (the siblings are starngers really) we don't worry about how the monthly family expenses are going to be cleared and we don't have to suffer the inconveniences of getting a whole family living in a 2 room flat. And best of all...at least we have healthy parents and all...at the very least, we don't have the fear of your mum leaving before you actually got a chance to really grow up and rescue her from the shitty crappy miserable life. I guss his lifestory can be shot in a soap opera.

please do not get mistaken..hehes..sylvia here didnt go for her cip home visits or whatsoever. Just that this person's expereince is truly unbelievable...he's actually the very first person i know personally who suffers to that state. Hard to imagine what i'll do if I were him actually. Jump down the building? ahahs...it's definitely a choice. I mean, it sometimes amazes me how much a young spirit of seventeen years can actually withstand. Perhaps his life experiences are more than enough to cover up all of ours all addded together. Im serious!

Ya. anyway..enough all of these unhappy stuff.
how's life for everyone??? Wy? you sound really profound and abstract in? your last entry!
hm...kinda philisophical:) but oh wells...I guess everyone ahs their unique side:)
Soemtimes, I've been thinking about how much I've changed? trhough the years actually..and the possibility that perhaps, I've moulded myself into this person whom the world outside can best accept and all...and in the process , you lose yourself without even your own knowlegde. In a way, it's as if you've become so used to putting up this front that you have lost the ability to like...truly...be the way you were originally? that thought is really kinda scary.

Just a lil quote I heard. It takes courage to be yourself in a world where everyone wants you to be somebody elseor sth like that la!=)

Now talk abut self actualizationI think its just a vicious cycle. The more you try to realize yourselfthe more questionable you get and it just follows that way..on and on and on. So.quit thinking about such chim stuff la!=) attaining self actualization is even harder than getting the nobels prize for physics or sth. *^^* hahas!! Better to live the happy simple way=)